Denied bbc ...

I know I have fallen behind and I have the last couple of weekends to update everyone on, and hopefully I can do that soon, as well as still talk about the BBC gang bang my bull arranged as a "surprise" a few weeks back, but in brief, my bull was away for an entire week (from 3/14 to 3/22), however, he left me a "tasks to be completed" list for me and my cuck to complete during his absence, which included my husband taking me to 4 specific strip clubs, 2 of which allowed dancers to strip totally nude, and for my husband to also accompany me to 2 particular adult bookstores, and to be more specific, the type that have a "video arcade" where there are small booths with tv monitors to view adult videos, and especially of note, many if the booths also had ...... gloryholes *blush*
And of course, I (as well as my husband) were given certain other "tasks" to complete at the strip clubs as well as at the bookstores/gloryholes, and both environments have been directly tied to fueling some very depraved sexual fantasies that I have secretly harbored for years, and they have been constant fuel for my ever growing compulsion to masturbate, and I have kept these "secrets" a secret, for the most part, for quite some time, and one of the things my bull does incredibly is he has a way of making me so aroused and at times during my heightened arousal, he will lure me in to disclosing how turned on certain fantasy scenarios make me, and he will then persuade me in to exploring them, because he knows that I lack the brazenness to explore them on my own *blush*
He also has learned that the more and more I become aroused, the more my "shyness" disapates *blush*
In summary, I cannot deny that more and more my decisions are being dictated by my body, rather than by my heart/brain, and it is beginning to get even more difficult, and you may understand more in a moment.

You see, in talking with my bull over the phone while he was away, he planted yet another seed in my mind and it quickly took roots and sprouted, and I agreed to do something, but then on Saturday immediately after he had just finished fucking me senseless after an absence of 1 week, I retreated on my previous agreement, and he was not very pleased.  Especially because I did not disclose my decision until after he finished thoroughly using me/fucking me on Saturday morning.
To clarify further, what I had previously agreed to was me getting a queen of spades tattoo, and I was originally really into being branded/stamped as a lover of BBC, but after learning a little more about the queen of spades distinction, someone told me that it also symbolizes being exclusive to BBC only, and as much as I do LOVE BBC, There are also some very nice large white cocks to experience as well, and I did not learn about the exclusiveness of the queen of spades designation until late Friday afternoon, and I had already scheduled to have my tattoo done on Saturday afternoon, and my bull was going to proudly escort his married slut for the occasion, so this left me very little time for me to debate this issue in my mind, but as much as I have fallen In love with BBC, I remained true to myself because I love all large cocks, and do not want to limit myself to BBC only, but the very bad news portion of me deciding this is; my bull has decided to now deny me his BBC, and he did tell me that this could occur if I chose to back out of my decision at the last minute, but if I am totally honest, I really did not think he would do this.  At first I felt angry and disappointed, but by midday yesterday, I was starting to regret my choice because the hunger for his BBC was building inside of me at an astronomical pace, and soon found myself masturbating much more than usual (and I masturbate a lot anyway *blush*) in an obvious and almost desperate attempt to stem the tide, but ughhhh, normally I will masturbate 1-3 times on a normal day (regardless of how much sex I have) but yesterday I reached x 6, and today I am already at x 4 *blush* but it is barely 1pm yet.

I'm trying to stick to my guns, but my cunt is weakening by the minute .....